Classic Brian Clough Quotes
As The Damned United hits our screens, here are a few little gems from the quote machine that was Brian Clough.
On motivation:
I gave my players a version of the same message at ten-to-three every Saturday: ‘I would shoot my granny right now for three points this afternoon.’ They knew how important it was to give everything in the cause of victory. Every time. That’s why my granny enjoyed more lives than my cat
They say Rome wasn’t built in a day, but I wasn’t on that particular job.
When I go, God’s going to have to give up his favourite chair.
On the importance of passing to feet:
If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he’d have put grass up there.
On Man Utd opting-out of the FA Cup to play in the World Club Championship:
Manchester United in Brazil? I hope they all get bloody diarrhea.
On the influx of foreign players:
I can’t even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball – he might grab mine.
On the number of French players at Arsenal:
I bet their dressing room will smell of garlic rather than liniment over the next few months.
On the contents of Posh Spice’s missing luggage:
Who the hell wants fourteen pairs of shoes when you go on holiday? I haven’t had fourteen pairs in my life.
Looking back at his success:
I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one.
Old Big ‘Ead explains his nickname:
On occasions I have been big headed. I think most people are when they get in the limelight. I call myself Big Head just to remind myself not to be
On the appointment of Sven Goran Eriksson as England manager:
At last England have appointed a manager who speaks English better than the players.
On Martin O’Neill:
If he’d been English or Swedish, he’d have walked the England job.
A tribute to Martin O’Neill.
Anybody who can do anything in Leicester but make a jumper has got to be a genius.
A Clough complement for a talented player:
The ugliest player I ever signed was Kenny Burns.
Advice for John McGovern at Hartlepool:
Stand up straight, get your shoulders back and get your hair cut.
More advice, this time for a young Trevor Francis as he receives an award from the Master Manager:
Take your hands out of your pockets.
On the streaker who appeared during Derby’s game against Manchester United:
The Derby players have seen more of his balls than the one they’re meant to be playing with.
On dealing with Roy Keane:
I only ever hit Roy the once. He got up so I couldn’t have hit him very hard.
Reflecting on his drink problem:
Walk on water? I know most people out there will be saying that instead of walking on it, I should have taken more of it with my drinks. They are absolutely right.
A comment which speaks for itself:
I’m dealing with my drinking problem and I have a reputation for getting things done.
After the operation which saved his life.
Don’t send me flowers when I’m dead. If you like me, send them while I’m alive.
Reflecting on England’s exit from Euro 2000:
Players lose you games, not tactics. There’s so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes
On dealing with a player who disagrees:
We talk about it for twenty minutes and then we decide I was right.
On how he would like to be remembered:
I want no epitaphs of profound history and all that type of thing. I contributed – I would hope they would say that, and I would hope somebody liked me
On the 1984 UEFA Cup semi-final Forest lost to Anderlecht:
It was a crooked match and he was a crooked referee. That was a tournament we could and should have won.
On not getting the England manager’s job:
I’m sure the England selectors thought if they took me on and gave me the job, I’d want to run the show. They were shrewd, because that’s exactly what I would have done.
On too much football on television:
You don’t want roast beef and Yorkshire every night and twice on Sunday.
On too many managers getting the boot:
If a chairman sacks the manager he initially appointed, he should go as well
Guessing who nominated him for a knighthood:
I thought it was my next door neighbour, because I think she felt that if I got something like that, I’d have to move
Referring to Sir Alex Ferguson’s failure to win two successive European Cups:
For all his horses, knighthoods and championships, he hasn’t got two of what I’ve got. And I don’t mean balls!
On women’s football:
I like my women to be feminine, not sliding into tackles and covered in mud.
On England goalkeeper David Seaman:
That Seaman is a handsome young man but he spends too much time looking in his mirror, rather than at the ball. You can’t keep goal with hair like that
On the late Peter Taylor
I’ve missed him. He used to make me laugh. He was the best diffuser of a situation I have ever known. I hope he’s alright.
On David Platt’s first season as Forest manager:
He’s learned more about football management than he ever imagined. Some people think you can take football boots off and put a suit on. You can’t do that
Advice for David Beckham
He should guide Posh in the direction of a singing coach because she’s nowhere near as good at her job as her husband
On moving house in Derbyshire:
Barbara’s supervising the move. She’s having more extensions built than Heathrow Airport
